me? a bad guy?

I'm in a place I've never been before. I've always been a "Good Girl"; a "Good Christian" and growing up in the South, in the Bible Belt, that was considered a good thing. Now, in the last couple of weeks I have read various articles by Jewish people that have painted me, Ms. Evangelical Christian, in a horrible light. I'm not used to being viewed as the bad guy and I don't like it.

The first was an editorial entitled "A Special Place in Hell". It was a scathing commentary on Christians and Messianic Jews who attempt to convert Jews to Christianity. This weekend I read two more teachings by a rabbi who seems to have every Christian's motives and tactics figured out. The teachings were a little more academic, yet full of animosity and reproach. This one really bothered me. I kept thinking about it all this morning and then when I went to check out my blog there was a comment on a post inviting an open discussion about the very same thing. God has a way of getting our attention.

On "Converting the Jews", I don't have some kind of secret agenda--at least not one that I'm aware of. What I do have is an inexplicable love in my heart for this people group. So much so that I quit my nice comfy job, sold most of my belongings and moved to Israel so that I could "comfort His people and speak tenderly to Jerusalem..." Isaiah 40:1-2. I came here to bless and to serve, not to accuse and try to change. I don't want to see people lose their Jewishness; I don't want them to cease to exist as a nation; I want God to redeem all the years that have been eaten away by the locusts (Joel 2). I want them to survive and come shining through; to always be able to say, "Hear O Israel, the Lord thy God is One God."

My heart hurts so badly when I think about the things that the Jewish people have walked through, and I'm not just talking about the Holocaust, although that was bad enough... It started way before that. Just look up Jewish persecution on the web some time -- from Pharoah to the Babylonians to the Romans and then the Crusades; the Ottomons, the Spanish Inquisition, the pogroms in Russia and Poland, through the Holocaust to the current situation with radical Islam wanting to wipe the Jews off the face of the earth. It's overwhelming, and I want to do everything in my power to say, "I'm sorry. Oh my sweet God in Heaven, I am soooo sorry for everything that you have walked through! What can I do to make life better for you?"

My dear friend Racheli called today. Her oldest brother lives in the North. He refuses to leave there, even though he is extremely close to where the rockets are landing. His daughter is in the military guarding the border, doing her job to protect her people. Her Abba (Daddy) is not leaving her. And I'm not leaving them because I know my Father in Heaven is not leaving me either. Racheli mentioned that this war is hurting us; that people aren't coming into the country because of it. I told her that I'm still here, and so is everybody that I work with. We're not leaving.

I feel for those soldiers. I pray for them daily; for their safety and supernatural wisdom and discernment. I'm also trying to do practical stuff for them as well. Last weekend I volunteered to help pack goody baskets for the soldiers on the front line, and I prayed over every one; that it would be a blessing to the person receiving it, and that he or she would receive it and know that somebody out there cares and loves them and is thankful for what they are doing.

This post was supposed to be about the issue of Christians trying to convert the Jews. I don't think it came out the way I expected, but it has shown me that I really needed to search my heart and weigh my motives. I think the above outpouring is the result of that. I don't want to defend myself or Christians who truly believe that they are doing what God has called them to do. When God calls someone to a certain task, then it is up to God to defend them in it. He's a lot more capable of it than I am. I just needed to figure out where my heart is, and I think I have done that.

Jennifer--I don't know if this is the kind of dialog you want or expect, but it's what is in my heart. And I pray that nothing will be able to shake you in your faith; that you will stand so strongly that if anyone did pray for your conversion from your faith that it would just be like tumbleweeds drifting along in the breeze but unable to move you in any way (Reference Psalm 83). I love it that you and your dad are having good discussions about sticky topics; may God bless your relationship with him and give you two many, many precious times together.